I know that you’re confused about who you are so I’m going to tell you.
Realizing you were in physical danger was hard for me. If anything ever happened to you, I’m not sure I could forgive myself.
Chaos isn’t a pit. Chaos is a ladder. Many who try to climb it fail and never get to try again. The fall breaks them. And some are given a chance to climb, they cling to the realm or the gods or love. Only the ladder is real. The climb is all there is.